Coming Out

Hi, I’m Jessica! Maybe you knew me by a different name. I wanna talk about that.

Growing up, I was known as a lot of things —smart, runner, tech enthusiast, kind. But I was also quiet, sensitive, someone you didn’t see much outside of school. I felt unworthy of the world, that I needed to get closer to perfection. And when I needed an escape, the infinite depth of the Internet provided. Keep pushing, eventually I’ll figure it all out and earn a break.

So I graduated high school, started engineering, and then a novel coronavirus changed everything. It was in isolation, at my darkest moment, that I had to face myself. I got diagnosed with ADHD, primarily inattentive. My perfectionism, disorganization, and need for mental stimulation suddenly all made sense. With coaching, treatment, and a couple of years, I had a system that mostly worked. Now, I could tackle my persistent identity crisis.

It was like walking head-down in a rut. Once I finally cut through the ADHD noise, I could look up and see a door. I opened it… and saw how much more there was to life. The joy, the bright possibilities, and an entire world to explore. All I had to do was accept myself. Keep pushing, but past the societal expectations, the internalized fear, towards the woman within — the woman I’d never allowed myself to be.

And here I am :) There’s nothing like living authentically, loving my own body, and feeling so real. It hasn’t always been a nice story (in fact, pretty fucking ugly at times). Cameron is still a part of my history, and I wouldn’t be myself otherwise. But now I happily look to the future as myself: Jessica.

tl;dr

• Who are you? Jessica Rodriguez (she/her)! I previously went by Cameron, or Cam.
• Why the change? After years of self-discovery, I’ve realized I am transgender 🏳️‍⚧️
• How should I refer to you? As Jessica (not Jess), including when talking about me in the past. If someone who previously knew me is unaware, feel free to explain that Cameron is now Jessica.
• I have more questions? Message me!¹ If it’s genuine and respectful (read: you aren’t trying to get a reaction out of me), I’m happy to answer.

holy shit it’s so nice to finally be me

1. If you’d rather not send a message, this article is also a great starting point. ↩